happy valentine's day... a post on self-love.

today, i am committing to self-love. i whole-heartedly believe it's only when we truly love ourselves that we are then able to exude positive energy outward... and rather than searching externally to fill that deficiency we have to first direct our focus inward. by no means am i claiming to be a yogi or saint... but positive vibes attract positive tribes! :)

“love yourself. accept yourself. forgive yourself. and be good to yourself... because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” leo f. buscaglia

as with any young adult growing into their own skin, i was confronted with many challenges in regard to who i was, who i wanted to be, and who i was developing into. and it's only been within the last 4-5 years that i've been able to really embrace my shortcomings and appreciate my strengths, to the point where a sense of peace has naturally surfaced enabling me to spiritually grow and develop a more compassionate love for myself and others.

symptoms include, but are not limited to:

• a tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences
• an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
• a loss of interest in judging other people
• a loss of interest in judging self
• a loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
• a loss of interest in conflict
• a loss of the ability to worry
• frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
• contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
• frequent attacks of smiling - sometimes even through your heart :)
• an increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen
• an increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it

oh - and yes... kind gestures help me sustain health in my heart, while gentle thoughts allow love for my outward body. om. _/|\_

tanya davis - subtlety.

...far and few between
do i ever come across an artist,
quote, lyric, person,
or some other unanchored entity
that speaks to me;
really, speaks to me. and
paints a scenic, but
accurate depiction
of the inner workings of my
whole-hearted
self.
me...
it means the whole me.
the true soul in me.
all the many parts of me.
the fragile. and the tortured.
and the happy, human heart in me.


shhh...

listen.

love,

pieces of me...

limitless. flowers for algernon. understand.

...i was talking to a friend about the newly released film "limitless" the other day and how i thought it was a great concept, but lacked a proper screenplay and execution to do the storyline the justice it had potential for. he then mentioned the book flowers for algernon somewhere in the conversation... and so i recently picked it up and read it straight through.

before continuing, let me just say - at the risk of sounding like a complete nerd - i took it a step further by actually researching the author, daniel keyes, in detail after coming across a short summary of how this novel came to be the actual premise in which limitless was based upon... and wow. it really did give me a newfound appreciation for the subject matter.

definitely a great and easy read. i would highly recommend this to everyone. i don't know how it skipped my high school, but who knows if i would've appreciated it back then anyways. very poignant and insightful... and it was one of those literary works that deeply tugged at my heart strings from the very beginning.

going off on another tangent here, it also led me to read the novellette, "understand" by ted chiang. again, so good too... similar concepts :) again, highly recommended! click here to read it, right now - for free! and if you do/did, let me know what you think of it..!

♪ ♩ ♫ what is the light, that you have shining all around you? is it chemically derived? 'cause if it's natural, something glowing from inside... shining all around you. it's potential has arrived... ♪ ♩ ♫

on life, love, and the pursuit of happy'ness!

who doesn't want to be happy? just take a look at any moment of your life, any choice you make... isn't your intention to be happy?


and by happiness, i don't necessarily mean the pollyanna, silly-smile-on-your-face kind. what i mean is a deep sense of contentment, the capability of being peaceful and at ease no matter what, an inner knowing that things are just fine.

somehow true happiness eludes us, and here's probably why. even though we long for it more than anything, we make choices that derail us. we choose stressful behaviors, distorted beliefs through which we view the world... and emotional chaos. and in doing so, we interfere with our potential to be happy.

but happiness is absolutely within your reach. my reach. our reach. in fact, it's closer than close! try this, make a study of your thoughts and emotions. see what makes you unhappy, then plant your feet firmly in the land of happiness. sounds too simple, right? ;P

1. take responsibility. dont blame others, turn yourself into a victim, or wait for someone to come and save you. if you want to be happy, take the bull by the horns. be willing to figure out how you stand in the way of your happiness.
2. embody enthusiasm. be willing, open, courageous, and humble. admit what isn't working and be available to the possibility of real inner change. keep your quest alive.
3. drop your old baggage. nothing kills happiness more quickly than old hurts, resentments, and grudges. if you are spending your precious time stuck in a sad story from the past, realize that you are being affected way more than anyone else. wrap all of that pain in a vast cocoon of love, then move on with clarity and grace.
4. become intensely interested in your inner life. the cause of unhappiness is the playing out of conditioned habits that dont serve you. find out what they are and use a laser focus to see how they work. with your new-found awareness, make healthy, life-affirming choices.
5. question your beliefs. we unknowingly build our lives around distorted beliefs and expectations. put every thought under the microscope for examination to see if it is actually true. you will undoubtedly find that you are living through a veil of confusion and limitation. be willing to step away from these familiar and cherished beliefs and see everything with fresh eyes.
6. appreciate presence. happiness is found here, in the eternal now – not in the past or future. relax. let all efforting fall away, and receive everything just as it is. luxuriate in the wonder of your senses as you go about your daily life.
7. study your emotions. life becomes heavy and burdensome when we are ruled by difficult emotions. the medicine for this emotional pain is interest and attention. stop telling yourself stories that fuel your emotions. rather, welcome the direct experience of the feelings and the sensations in your body. let them be without needing to get rid of them. over time, they will lose their power over you, and you will be at peace. the clouds will lift, revealing the happiness you have been searching for all along.
8. live from your heart. shed every thought, emotion, and habit that no longer serves you. what is left? love. let love permeate your conversations, activities, and the way you treat yourself. in any moment, ask, “what would love do?” then do it. savor the deliciousness of a full and open heart.
9. choose freedom over fear. fear is another happiness-killer. know when fear is driving your choices, and choose otherwise. meet fear with love, then have the courage to act on what you really want.
10. let happiness pervade your life. every moment presents the opportunity to be happy. if you doubt me, just take a look at your own experience. when you break it down to its bare essence in the moment, you will realize that a choice is always possible. nag or be silent, self-criticize or self-love, sustain stress or take a deep breath, perpetuate a habit or unravel it until you just cant keep it going anymore.

when we are at peace with our own experience, we can’t help but be happy. nothing is in the way. we see through the fog of faulty beliefs and dramatic stories, leaving us available to consciously choose happiness – now, and now, and now.



i feel like it's not until we let go of preferences for or against that we will start seeing problems melt away. feelings come? no problem. strong sensations? no problem. bliss overflowing? no problem. everything welcome just as it is.


and yet people still ask me how i do it? hmmm.

dottie and the brew city overcast.

the lakefront; brewery. cielito lindo. lincoln park. urban fishing. bbq's for two. miller tours. summerfest. mpm. mam. pabst. tap city. mke county zoo. seven mile fair. value village. records. thrifting. 727 21st. 437 shawley. ugly mug. yellow jacket. stonefly. hip hop. libraries. marquette. the darkside of the moon. budget cinema. washington park. dineen. stallis. brady street strolls. rushmor. the blue armadillo. wizard of odd. eesanes. 7th&maple. oakland gyros. oak leaf trail. autozone. music festivals. jjs. pizza shuttle. thomson. herbs. jameson. jim beam. little red, the devil schwinn. bremen cafe. cafe mocha. art bar. maingia. berni. dan. mando. pie. enid edie. el rey. renaissance books. and bayview.

it's not that i miss you or that i long to someday return - but moreso, that feeling i can still vividly recall while i was there with you that brings a certain peace to my heart. so thank you... for being such a big part of me and showing me what beauty really entails when you can look past the rough streets and begin to appreciate the hidden gems between each nook and cranny so many overlook. for that, i will always love you. and regardless of the evils - we had some pretty amazing times, you and i :) that's what i choose to remember and take with me.

♪ ♩ ♫ when i was drinking, when i was with you... living it up when the rent was due. with nothing and no one to live up to. you and me dying on the vine, holding hands and drinking wine. now i'm not the same girl i left behind with you. twelve bars behind us and twelve bars to go... bottles of beer lined up in a row. one for each hour you didn't show. you and me dying everyday. getting high just to pass away, but that's not the reason i couldn't stay with you. now i am sober, now i'm alone... three years have gone by since you have gone. letting you go, letting me go on, but i'll raise a glass now to you and me. to lift me higher so i can see... which of these blessings are killing me. ♪ ♩ ♫

enchante, to the next set of adventures...!